Recently there has been a lot of change in my life and I think some of the difficulty of dealing with change comes from both uncertainty and a lack of time to process what has actually been going on as well as the consequences. I was trying to balance catching up with online classes with homework and revision for exams whilst also trying to look after my mental and physical heath. Long story short, balance is difficult and, more often than not, results in some form of sacrifice. In this case it meant sacrificing my general health for the sake of studies, which led to burn out and an increase in anxiety.
I was going to keep justifying this unhealthy way of working. Let's face it, it's very easy to say "this isn't working" but it's incredibly hard to put in the things that will actually make things change. Sometimes life decides to punch you in the chest and then you can't keep going in the same direction because you're winded and need to recover.
For me, this punch came in the form of a phone call from a friend who needed to feel less alone in an isolated world. It was through talking to them that I discovered that I needed to have a conversation with myself, namely I needed to ask myself "How can I keep justifying this way of working when I am fully aware that it will screw me over in the long run?" The answer was simple. I can't.
Ironically, that's when I hit burn out at full speed. But for the first time, instead of pushing through and doing work despite how draining it was, I decided to take a break from studying. Instead, I tried leaving the house for the first time in round-about a week and I tried a socially-distanced hangout. This too wasn't great either because I tried to push myself into situations before I was ready.
Now we come to this morning where, despite having had a fair amount of sleep, I was still incredibly drained and tired. So I decided to write today off as a no study day as well, only this time I would only do things related to disconnecting. I finished reading Notes on a nervous planet by Matt Haig and I told my Instagram followers that I would be heading offline for a while. I let myself feel tired and drained and all of the things that come with being in a world that doesn't really make sense. It turns out that there is a lot to be said for doing nothing.
And what I mean by doing nothing is this: There is no pressure to be productive, leave your comfort zone or do anything that might tire/stress you out unnecessarily, there is no time limit and there are no plans. Doing nothing for me is essentially spontaneous self care I do on those days that I realise that it doesn't matter what I do, work just isn't going to happen and I need a re-charge.
For me this re charge used to mean a few hours of watching a film. Now it means reading a book in my pyjamas underneath a fluffy blanket, sleeping as and when, having a proper wash and generally remembering to do all the things that a functioning human being should do anyway- eating well, getting a good amount of sleep and breathing mindfully. Sometimes I only need a day of zoning out from the world and I'm all good to go, sometimes I need few and that's completely okay for a while.
Another beautiful thing about doing nothing is it gives you the headspace to take a moment to actually figure out what you need to do next in your own time. In this case, I need to create a more realistic study plan because my one is frankly inhuman and unrealistic, I also need to find a way to incorporate self care and me-time into this plan and I need to remember to keep going with it despite how hectic things are. Going back to what I said about the whole "there are no plans", I'm currently having a nothing day. I'm aware of what I will need to do next, but I'm not actually going to do that thing until I feel ready to, things can wait.
I can't reiterate this enough (and I am fully aware I need to take my own advice), Things Can Wait. The world isn't going to end because a History essay hasn't been handed in on time, so long as it gets done at some point it's alright. A person I know recently re-enforced this by telling me "I would rather you get a full night's sleep and not hand in an assignment." '(This really says something considering the general attitudes within the education system). This blog post that I am writing could have waited, I wrote it anyway because writing for myself is an act of self care, there's no pressure. I am supposed to be revising but it can wait until I am rested and well. My point is that doing nothing is in itself productive because some things can wait, self care shouldn't have to.
I am in the pursuit of nothing and I recommend it highly. Give your brain a break, go and do what makes you happy, be spontaneous and more importantly take a break, even though you may feel unproductive, trust me, in the long term you will reap the rewards i.e. feel more awake, be able to have more of a balance and generally feel happier. There is nothing wrong with doing nothing when it allows you to take better care of yourself and/or re-charge.
On that note, I am off continue my pursuit of nothing...
Another social/political post today, simply because I feel inspired and there's another thing I want to talk about, so I'm going to talk about it.
We place so much value on knowledge, which is vital, but what we seem to forget is that it's impossible to know everything and that's both a great and awful thing.
Anyone who has ever studied anything will understand that there is a point where we thought we knew about something, we taught about what we thought we knew and years later it turned out to be utter bullshit. Prime example: for years we thought that smoking was actually healthy, heck doctors even encouraged it! However in 1964 Luther Terry released his discovery that smoking is linked to lung cancer...need I say more.
Sometimes to understand something we have to accept the fact that we will never be able to fully understand it. More recently, I read Jonathan Culler's "A very short introduction to literature theory" and in that book he says that to understand literature theory, we first have to understand that we will never understand literature theory. Confusing? Maybe, but he does have a good point.
Recently, in my own life I have come across a road block, which I didn't believe would engulf me as much as it has. This problem doesn't have a simple solution and I'm having to accept the fact that as much as I try, it won't be fixed as quickly as I would like it to be. It doesn't matter the amount of effort and research I put into it, there is no quick fix.
This brings me to my next point, society cares too much about quick fixes and solutions in general and although they feel amazing in the sort term, in the long term they completely screw us all over. Got a problem? Google it. Who the hell cares if the information is actually accurate, easy access am I right? Let's face it, we've all gotten to that point where we are working on something and we are beyond tired, so we hit Wikipedia or Google translate and boom! Problemo solved. That is until you hand in the work and somehow it has all been completely lost in translation, so you either have to explain yourself or actually go back and painstakingly slave over a new version of the same piece of work. I don't know about you, but I don't have the patience for that kind of thing.
Now we have another issue, patience. We have lost the ability to live life in the slow lane and I find that super annoying because I would actually find more solutions to things if I actually took my time or gave things a chance to work. And there's yet another issue, we place so much emphasis on finding answers for ourselves that we forget that it's okay to collaborate and ask for help.
During my secondary school years, it was drummed into us that the teacher was the absolute last point of call, in fact it was deemed better to fail having done the work entirely solo rather than pass having asked for help with a few misunderstandings. What the fuck was up with that? Suddenly I'm at college where it is deemed okay to ask for help and I'll actually go out of my way to avoid it. It sounds stupid and it absolutely is. I've had to learn the hard way that it is, in fact, in my best interest to ask for guidance.
We have to learn all this stuff the hard way. I really wish it didn't work like that. I wish that we had been taught that we don't have to know everything about everything, so that we wouldn't deem it necessary or acceptable to call another person naive or thick for a lack of knowledge. I wish that we were taught that it was deemed better to find the best solution rather than the quickest.
Going back to the problem I mentioned earlier. There is no easy fix and there is no quick fix and there is no way I am ever going to understand the full extent of the problem, let alone find a solution to it. I have come to accept this. No, acceptance isn't cynical or complacent, it just means that I have accepted that I am completely out of my depth and don't understand yet how to take back control of the situation.
So what am I going to do now? I'm going to accept the fact that there is no quick solution and get stuck in traffic going the slow route. I would rather take my time and go over the "deadline" than hurt myself anymore than I already have. To top it all off: I am going to get better at communicating about my lack of understanding.
Take it from me, an writer on the internet (reliable enough). Take your time. There isn't a solution to everything and that's okay because that's what makes life so interesting. Above all else, don't be ashamed of your confusion or lack of knowledge. Own it so that we can all be confused, slow, accepting and curious together.
I'm going to own it right now. In this exact moment.
I don't understand much. I probably understand less than I think that I understand. I probably know less than I think that I know. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm trying to take life at my own pace and some days that will be easy and some days it won't be. Some days I'll be a cheetah and some days I'll be a sloth. It's all okay and it's all going to be okay.
Let me reiterate: I have a problem and I reject the idea that I need to solve it instantly. I have no time limit and I'm not going to let anyone else tell me that I do when I decidedly do not.
I want to solve this problem for my own benefit. That isn't selfish, that's what we should all aspire to: Attempting to face/ solve problems simply because we want to.
I have this problem that I don't know how to solve YET and I have accepted the fact that I may not ever find a solution, but I'm still trying (albeit currently behind the scenes) and I'm going at my own pace despite the fact that it may not suit other people.
I still want to talk through the process with other people and be completely out of my depth and actually ask for advicebecause there isn't any shame in it.Other people may not understand how to help and guess what? That's completely okay too because at least they know and that means that we don't have to be alone in confusion.
I sincerely hope that society gets better at acknowledging that you can't fix everything with the click of a button, that you don't have to solve everything by yourself and above all else that IT IS OKAY NOT TO KNOW, because it is through this lack of knowledge that we find our spirit of adventure, our urge to ask questions, understand each other and discover an entirely new way of navigating our days, through new thoughts and new meanings and new confusion...
So I was going to do a post about the time I accidentally called Warwick Davis short, but something more important came up and sometimes things need to be talked about in the moment if they are going to make any sort of impact. That's what I intend to do. Make an impact. Because this is an important issue and it's happening right now.
Yes this is somewhat of a political post.
No I am not going to apologise for it.
Before we begin this ongoing discussion, I am going to address the fact that I am a student, which means I am biased. However if you too are a student or any kind of worker then we have the same bias.
The concept of work-life balance is dying because of our societal norms and values. Over the years British society has placed more and more of a value on achievement and hard work, which is really great in many respects as it can be a good motivator. On the other hand, this has gone to such an extreme that the worth of citizens is based entirely on how much you can produce, how hard you can work and how much you can achieve, without any consideration for mental and physical health.
I'll put it this way: being physically fit and healthy is seen as vital and it is generally very important, but there is absolutely no time to do it and actually stick with it.
Let's say that I want to do some exercise on my busiest college day: Thursdays 8:40am - 4:10pm. We can eliminate 40mins before and after both times as that's how long it takes me to get there on a day without traffic. We can also eliminate 2 breaks: a 20min break I get in the morning and a 50min break I get in the afternoon, as during those times I need to do homework and/or revision. By the time I get home its around 5ish. I then have to complete any work I've been set during the day as well as revise for mocks and exams. Due to the fact that I am human, I need time to eat and sleep. Weekends are spent doing exactly what I do during the week, with the added bonus of volunteering.
Where is the time to exercise? It doesn't exist!
Fortnightly I give up my lunchtime to go on a walk and I regularly meal skip. There is no other time for being physically healthy. The amount of nights I've lost to pulling all nighters for the sake of work is insane!
Humans need time to socialise and reset and do self care things...I am living for work right now and I'm willing to bet that anyone doing a fulltime/multiple jobs feels the same/similar. WE WERE NOT MADE TO LIVE FOR WORK!
I can't believe that I have reached the point where I feel the need to constantly be doing something productive. I can't believe that I have reached the point where I feel guilty for watching a 10 minute video about cake baking. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE REACHED THE POINT WHERE I FEEL UNPRODUCTIVE FOR READING A FICTION BOOK OR ATTENDING AN ONLINE WRITING EVENT!
What the fuck is society doing to us? We are not machines, yet society seems to be conditioning us to become more and more like them. If we keep going like this, the idea of work-life balance will be a concept lost to history.
I am not saying that society is bad as a whole, on the contrary, I think society is incredible provided it teaches us values that don't push us to the brink of barely functioning. Yes, respect is a great British value and freedom, hell yeah! But it is not okay to value overworking to the point of burnout. We are more than the sum of our achievements and we are worth so much more than what we can produce or what grades we get or what type of job we have!
I am calling on you, the reader, to spread the message far and wide that we need to value people. Work matters but it honestly doesn't matter much as a person. Work can wait, it will get done eventually, people can't. We need to support each other in any way we can. We need to support ourselves in any way we can.
It's not enough to acknowledge a significant achievement that benefits the world. People benefit the world so we need to acknowledge every single thing from waking up and getting out of bed in the morning to taking time out to have a bubble bath and watch Netflix.
I wish I could ban the phrases "you haven't worked hard enough" or "you need to manage your time better" because unless you've walked in someone else's shoes, you really don't know whats been going on behind closed doors. You haven't seen the teacher struggling whilst continuing put their students first by marking their work without a break. You haven't seen the parents who live for their work because society has given them no other meaning. You haven't seen your co-worker who puts on a smile and says they are okay when they are actually drowning in their work.
Heck you probably only see yourself through the eyes of others and haven't acknowledged how hard you work every single day even though it makes you tired.
According to https://mhfaengland.org 1 in 4 people in the uk experience mental health issues each year. That is staggering. I can guess why we are in such a crisis and no, it's not just because of the pandemic. And no it doesn't come down to just 1 issue. It is made up of a host of innumerable political, economical and social factors, work/college/school life only contributes to this.
The institutions that prepare us for work life by stating that we need to have a balance are the same institutions who's workers are suffering because of their own work life. We don't teach anyone how to realistically have a balance and we can't until we re-design the working week, so that we only work the 8 hours that we are supposed to. So that we have choice over whether we want to do more rather than the obligation or the need.
I am talking to everyone from all walks of society. The best time for change is right now. I encourage you to write down or review your own week. You'll see exactly what I'm talking about. I implore you, change as much as you can to make your life work for you. It is your life. You need to make sure that you are content with what you are doing. You need to make sure that you are looking after BOTH your mind and body. Above all else, you need to make sure that you are working to live not living to work.
For more advice on re-claiming the balance, the links below may be useful:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/ (this one has lots of mental health links)
(I also really recommend to do list apps/planners)
On that note, for the first time in a week I'm going to read a book, actually get a full night sleep and in the morning, I'm going to re-organise my own life to make it work for me.
Last month I found a crazy post on a local facebook page, someone had posted that a local duck rescue had closed and as a result, this person had a week to re-home 300 ducks. My initial thought was "Duck rescues exist?!" and my second thought was "only one thing would make this more hilarious, if the ducks somehow ended up in the pond right next to the Chinese restaurant." I dug a bit more into the post and found that THE AUTHOR ACTUALLY CLARIFIED THAT THE DUCKS WERE NOT FOR EATING, as if "adopt" was just a code for "eat with hoisin sauce". I kid you not, this is an actual post that came up on my feed on a casual Sunday morning. It made my day.
Amongst a few people I know, there are a few village flightless bird conspiracies:
1. Does the Chinese restaurant get their peiking duck from the duck pond next door?
2. Are the swans real or fake?
So a few weeks ago, 2 "swans" magically turned up in said duck pond and a friend and I can't figure out if they are real or fake. He seems to think they are fake as they generally tend to stay still, however I saw them move the other day so I'm suspicious...
So you're probably reading this post at 10am on a Friday and thinking "what is Amello on about?" You'll find out soon enough.
Now it's time for a story totally unrelated to birds of any kind. Earlier this year I made the perilous journey to my favourite comic shop- the one that does actual non-superhero comics- to pick up more issues of the "Life Is Strange" comic when I bumped into Spiderman and Batman. They were handing out flyers for a comic-con and I couldn't resist asking for a few selfies. I know, we've established that superheros aren't my kryptonite, but an opportunity like that doesn't come around every day. To be honest, the costumes were awesome and it still feels like an epic crazy story to casually bring up.
Here's yet another unrelated story. One day, fam decided that we were going on a spontaneous day trip and we accidentally stumbled into a folk festival. I had never been to one and it was enchanting. I was all about those Esmeralda vibes. We only planned to spend an hour or two there but we got lost in a crowd of colour and melodic folk music. Due to the unexpected heat, I ended up buying a set of clothes which makes me look like a genie....I love it!
I thought nothing could top this awesome day, I was very wrong. Stopping off for early dinner on the way home, we came across a pride festival. Naturally we bought pride merch and watched the partying whilst eating rainbow ice cream.
What I'm getting at is this: weird things can happen anytime. I think that at some point we all find spontaneity and randomness to be a bit out of our comfort zones and I think that sometimes it can be a bit difficult to re-group after something unexpected has happened. That's valid.
My advice is to face those strange things with the mindset that at some point in the future, it will end up being one of those stories you tell to entertain people. Heck, it could end up being something that somehow ends up in one of those conversations where you can't figure out how you got from talking about the weather to talking about the meaning of life.
Even if it doesn't come up in a grand text chat, at least it's a memory. Even better, it's yours to do with as you will. In this day and age, when the future seems to be everything, sometimes it's important to say "Screw you Future! I'm living in the Present and I'm on a mission to make as many memories as possible. Come at me, Weirdness, I can take you!"
On that note, I'm off to face my daily dose of weirdness- Amello
There's a whole genre dedicated to superhumans, which is great for the huge fanbase that is really into exceptional people. Surprisingly I am not a member of that club. A few months ago someone I know found about my love of comics and said something along the lines of "That's really cool. So I gather you are into superhero comics...like deadpool."
First of all. Heck no! I go hours out of my way to the only shop that I currently know of that does non-superhero comics. Second of all, if I have a sudden urge to dive into the deep end, I am only going to read Harley Quinn comics because I find villains more interesting and she is quirky.
There is more to the graphic genre than superheroes!!! I cannot express this point enough!! It seriously annoys me how closed-minded some comic-devotees can be. Let me educate you...
1. Representation is EVERYTHING. I'm talking body types, race, sexuality, gender... Seek out Moonstruck, I can guarantee it will change your life, at the very least it will teach you more about the way the world works even though it is very heavily fantasy.
2. Comics don't have to be serious. I'm looking at you disney princess comics. For those of you who would like to argue about how certain ages can't enjoy that stuff, don't. Just don't.
3. Comics about serious topics don't have to be serious. Kim Reaper is hilarious and sensitive at the same time.
4. Comic transcend fandoms. The Life is strange comic series does justice to the fandom.
The list goes on and on and I'm getting sidetracked....
Comics deserve more respect than they get. If I am crazy tired (as I usually am), sometimes I find books taxing and I want to chill out with something as mindless as watching a TV soap opera. Sometimes a story is better as a comic. Let's not forget how great an opportunity for artists to reach a wide audience. Bonus: comics are less time consuming than books and significantly more affordable than both graphic novels and books. Double bonus: You can read some out of chronological order and if you don't like issue 1, you don't have to keep reading it.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been pulled up for reading comics and graphics. Seriously, sometimes my brain needs multiple breaks from wordy things and tech! I understand that they may not be your thing, but they are mine so let me have this.
I know that my comic habits could probably do with some tweaking. I have this thoroughly annoying habit of getting issue 1, enjoying it immensely, going to the comic shop to buy more issues...and buying yet more issue 1's of various other comics. Currently, the only series I have actually kept up with are Moonstruck, Life is strange (though I recently lost track of the second quarter of comics) and Brave chef Brianna (simply because there are only 4 issues in the entirety of the mini-series).
I know that in theory, the graphic novel collections of comics make a sort-of-sense. I just happen to prefer the actual comic version and try to avoid graphic collections unless they chose to switch from the comic format to the graphic format (I'm looking at you Moonstruck). I get very irked when they make the switch!
Side note: comics can bring people together. A story for another day.
I was supposed to be talking about how life-changing books can be, but I've ended up going on a comic rant (nothing wrong with that). Thats life lol, most plans don't work out. Today is not the day for seriousness...
I would like to talk to you about the environment. I know that that sounds like the environmental activist/annoying environmentalist film stereotype but rest assured, I'm not here to call you out for fly-tipping (even though I don't particularly agree with it) nor am I here to tell you to try and become more like Infinity Jackson from The Politician season 2. This isn't going to be a guide like the book from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy,which says "Don't Panic" even though it knows that everyone is panicking.
This is going to be about how many geeky/teen references I can fit into a single post...just kidding. In all mock seriousness, it's my usual thing of telling you weird stories that have actually happened for the sake of my enjoyment and your amusement/confusion.
My first encounter with the fact that we humans are killing the Earth was in year 5. I watched a David Attenborough documentary in class, learned about overfishing and suddenly decided to stop eating fish. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but at the time it was because my mother started letting me pick out fish at the fish counter at our local supermarket a few times a month. Needless to say she was a bit annoyed. It wasn't long afterwards that some distant relatives of mine decided to invite us to go on a boat trip with them. My mother, seeing this as a prime opportunity to renew my taste for fish, accepted. BIG MISTAKE. We went "Jigging" (google it) and I managed to catch mystery fish. Me, being young and naive, thought that we were going to keep the fish for a while and then set it free. NOPE. I watched it being gutted on the deck with the handle of a winch and vowed never to eat fish again. Long story short, I thought prawns were okay so I only ate those if we were having seafood up until the point where I decided to go vegetarian (even longer story short, it is practically impossible to stay vegetarian in Germany).
I haven't eaten fish since.
The year afterwards I was in a geography lesson. I didn't know that tax is added to stuff, heck I didn't know what taxes were (I still don't), I also didn't know that you have to pay for the water that comes out of your tap. Naturally I got freaked out when a teacher talked about how we were going to have to pay more for water. I had an idea that I genuinely believed was genius. I was going to fill up as many bottles as I could with water and put it in the freezer so that we would get free water when the government decided to make us pay for it. One of these bottles happened to be a brand-new metal bottle my mother got to take with her to work. I learned 2 things that day:
1. Water isn't like vegetables or meat, it expands when frozen. Trust me, having that conversation about how you managed to break the bottle beyond use because of a severe lack of common sense is VERY AWKWARD ON BOTH SIDES.
2. You have to pay for most things. Capitalisim Yo!
Funnily enough, this was the same year that I joined my middle school's "Eco Group". It only lasted a year because of lack of membership and all I learned was how to make button badges and how to convince people that it is cheaper to buy from the school shop than it is to buy from somewhere like Tesco. It was not cheaper in any way, shape or form but the stuff was impossible to break, looked cooler and the money went to a good cause: environmental conservation.
Secondary school: became a fulltime vegetarian for a year because I saw a silent protest in London about animal testing whilst I was on my way to see a show. Quit for various reasons.
Last year felt like a final straw for my environmental awakening. I met up with a friend in the morning so we could hang out for the day then go to a party in the evening, when I got there she told me that we were going to take part in an environmental protest before doing anything else. I hadn't seen that many people in one place since Comic con and it was honestly intimidating. I held up a protest sign for the first time in my life, I learned a chant that wasn't about feminism (I accidentally came across a feminist protest in London a few months earlier) and I sat down in the middle of the road with an insane amount of people my age, blocking traffic, with the police protecting us on one side and various adults shouting at us things like "You should be in school", "Screw the environment" and "I fully support you all!" Confusing much. I didn't end up staying for long, it was too hectic and loud for me although I still consider it to have been a great experience because of what I learned about firsthand activism.
Having had various experiences with environmental ideas, I have come to my own conclusion. I don't need to be outspoken or go to a protest to be an activist. Being outspoken or even voicing my thoughts anywhere except on this blog feels majorly intimidating, so I generally avoid it where possible. That doesn't mean I don't have ideas or believe in things strongly, it just means that there are other ways of being an activist.
I educate myself in my own time and listen to other people's point of views. I occasionally re-post on instagram but I take the time to read and save posts. I look through social media as well as read books that people who understand more have written. I read fiction and non fiction. Recently I wrote an essay about the art of rhetoric in environmental speeches. I sound like I'm boasting (I probably am) but these are various examples of what any quiet activist can do, there are probably a lot more things that I don't even know about yet.
What I am trying to say is this: just because you many not want to be loud doesn't mean you can't whisper from the sidelines. It certainly doesn't mean that you can't/don't quietly support a cause in your own time. Activism isn't just about spreading the word, it's about navigating it and understanding it for yourself in your own way.
On that note, I'm going to head off and read my current book "Queenie", which I recommend for anyone who is interested in gaining a better insight into Race and Sexisim.
If you say "pack a bag, we have a long drive ahead of us", out of the blue, understandably, I'm going to be...
A. very confused.
B. Curious about where we are going.
C. Anxious because I have no idea what's going on or how to pack.
Don't get me wrong, I love spontaneous road trips as much as the next person does, but anyone who has studied/has an interest in history or politics knows that spontaneous things lead to questionable things 8/10. Not to mention that I absolutely suck at packing at the best of times (I make a list and still manage to forget basics, like socks, but somehow always remember to bring at least 3 books), I especially suck when I don't actually know where we are going. Heck, you would be too! Wouldn't want to pack denim skirts for a mountain hike or trousers and leggings for Mimosa.
Speaking of Mimosa, I went to PGL there once as part of a water-sports residential (the full story we can save for another time) I didn't have the time to pack for this particular adventure as I had been staying at my relatives and was literally only coming home for an evening before leaving for part 1. Ardeche. I made a major mistake in trusting my parents to pack: they didn't check the weather or properly understand the kit list, so they packed long sleeve t-shirts, trousers, leggings and jumpers for what would turn out to be THE HOTTEST WEEK OF THE ENTIRE YEAR. I had no opportunity to buy shorts in Ardeche, so I had to wait until part 2. Mimosa and ended up paying an exorbitant amount for the ugliest shorts on the planet.
Moving on...I somehow managed to pack an overnight bag for most eventualities.
My top tips:
1. Pack T-shirts. Long sleeve tops absolutely suck in hot weather, pack short sleeve tops so that if you get cold, you can easily put a jumper/cardigan over the top
2. Shorts and leggings are an amazing combination. Keeps your leggles warm and if you get too hot, you can just wear shorts. Either that or pack a pair of trousers and a pair of shorts.
3. Always pack a pair of shoes you don't care about
4. Spare socks are a must!
I only had about half an hour to grab everything and then we were off. I think I love long drives because I don't get travel sick thus I can read lots, watch "Gravity falls" and "Brooklyn 99", listen to music and get a ton of sleep. Basically I zone out.
About 3 hours later, we arrive at Premier Inn in a place called Solihull and guess what? I still don't have a clue what we are doing or where we are going. Getting up at 6am will forever be unreasonable, 7am is the earliest I will wake up without turning into Oscar the grouch...
(that being said, before C-19 I was doing 5am starts every weekday. The only cure was Greggs breakfast or caffeine).
Much to the dismay of stepdad, we ended up driving to Pendle. Another thing to mention: I am not exactly great at geography, which meant that I was shocked to learn that Pendle isn't a village, it's an area in the North. Pendle actually has places inside of it and the place we arrived in was called Barley. After a lunch stop at the most useless tourist information I have ever been to, we set off on our expedition: The "walking with witches" trail I managed to find on the interwebs. Thank you Google. I wanted to do the short walk but mother insisted that us non-walkers take on the long walk. It was only supposed to take us 2 hours yet it ended up taking us 3 and a half hours.
Hill walking decidedly isn't my thing. I'll admit, the first hill wasn't too bad, although I was suitably annoyed to find that the ground was boggier than it looked and therefore ended up doing the vast majority of the walk in muddy shoes and wet feet. When we got to the top, we had some trouble with figuring out where we were and which direction to go in, Shackleton would be ashamed, luckily we saw some witch signs and headed on our way...only to find a goddamn cow field!
I hate cows. They are terrifying and they will charge at you as well as try to steal your food, as I found out during my Bronze DOFE practise walk, I honestly think they want revenge on us carnivores. Suffice to say I was really freaked out and decided to shimmy up a stone wall in an attempt to avoid the devils. Annoyingly, there was no escape. At some point I had to re-climb the wall and jump down into Cowmageddon without breaking my ankle. I was successful in that I didn't break any bones, however when I landed I found a black and white freak lying down on the ground across from me, staring into my soul as if to enchant it. In this scenario, I did what any rational person would do. I legged it.
Eventually we reached the halfway point- Newchurch. This was the best part of the trip! I bought a mystery poster from a shop called "Witches Galore", found Alice Nutter's grave at St Mary's church and saw the most beautiful valley views.
Shortly after travelling down a flat gravel road, we came across another hill. I'm pretty sure Chanctonbury Hill is a challenge for most experienced walkers. Somehow this particular hill was steeper than Chanc. I didn't think that was even possible, apparently it is. It was also covered in sheep. Having checked for horned sheeps, we decided that it was safe to climb and spent what felt like an eturnity edging upwards, downing strawberry water and taking stops to catch our breath. I think I actually wanted to cry when I saw that going downhill was equally as challenging as going uphill.
When we arrived back where we started (the joys of a circuit walk), we re-entered the car and drove up the road to stop for a picture with Alice Nutter's statue. I was in full zombie-mode by this point, I was beyond tired and wanted to sleep. Yet I couldn't because humans need to eat and it's easier and nicer to get food in the area than it is to get food at a service station on the road. We,unintentionally, ended up eating at the oldest pub in the area :The Anchor Inn. To be honest, I'm surprised we were able to eat at all considering how much of a nightmare the digital ordering system was. The beef pie and mash was heaven and the hot chocolate was just right.
Then we drove 5 hours with a single stop at Starbucks.
Needless to say, the trip was awesome if a bit hectic and muddy. It really made the witch craze- which, major surprise, I am decidedly not interested in- come to life. I will forever recommend road trips, they are the best!
In response to both this post and Twitter, I have decided to take on the challenge so without further ado here's my mid year book tag...
Note: some of these have multiple answers because I change my opinions about books too regularly for me to write a single answer, so these answers are as-of-this-day/week. Ask me in a weeks time and it is very highly likely/almost certain that my opinions will have changed dramatically.
I would also like to point out that I rate books (on goodreads and in general) using a 5 star system.
1. Quality of language, 2. Character development, 3. Plot-line intrigue and continuity, 4. Overall impact, 5. Emotional connection
1. Best book you've read so far this year
Q by Christina Dalcher or An Absolutely Remarkable thing by Hank Green (AART)
Let's talk Q first. It is harrowing as heck but it is crazy vital that you go and give it a read. I had no idea that disgusting thing that is the Eugenics movement even existed before reading about it. Not to mention that the book focuses on a society which is centred around IQ. As I was reading this book I began to think "this is terrifying and could absolutely happen in our current society/ in the future- especially considering the way in which British education is handled", which is what makes this book so genius! The characters felt real and Dalcher did what she does best, only better this time- making morally ambiguous characters. To be honest, I think this book should be a compulsory read for teachers and politicians.
I've been a member of the Nerdfighteria for a fair few years now. I follow vlogbrothers religiously and Crash Course got me through some exams. I am also a John Green fangirl so I was curious to see what his brother (notorious science wizard) had to offer to the world of adult speculative fiction. Safe to say that I jumped ship very quickly and became more of a Hank fan. Don't get me wrong, if John decides to write any more books I will be more than happy to get stuck into reading them, however if Hank decides to write more than AART and ABFE I will absolutely devour them in the space of an afternoon.
I am not even kidding, AART is the first book I have ever had serious fan theories about. I'm not talking english-class-geek level theories, more hardcore-existential crisis level theories. Did I spend over 4 hours looking at Discord fandom chats to uncover the current theories? YES. Did I then proceed to spend the rest of the morning making mind-maps about the theories? DEFINITELY. Did I then create an A4 sheet about predictions for ABFE? ABSOLUTELY. This book was my first experience reading speculative fiction and I was hooked (if you couldn't tell already). So yes, go and read it. Though be warned, the sequel (ABFE) is good but isn't as tremendous as AART.
2. Best sequel you've read so far this year
The Testaments- Margaret Atwood
I know what some of you may be thinking- Margaret Atwood, really? I'm fully aware that I have previously argued that Dalcher is a better writer (and still maintain that view), but it is indisputable that The Testaments isn't a sight to behold because it bloody well is. I don't read series books anywhere near as much as I read stand-alone's, so it really does say a lot when I say that this is perfectly crafted. The knot is tied flawlessly between this book and The Handmaid's Tale, both of which are deeply haunting, morally questionable and (lets face it) tremendously fucked up. But there's the brilliance. They linger in the mind, they really make you question your own ideals/morals and challenge you to see if you say them or actually put them into practise. Needless to say, this book aligns with my 5 star criteria.
Reminder to anyone who chooses to give Atwood's books a go: Read the Historical Notes, it will change your perspective entirely. I didn't think to read them and learned the consequences when I attended a lecture about the book and sequentially discovered that I either needed to re-read the entire book again (not a hardship) or read the notes and Youtube a book summary and analysis.
3. New release you haven't read yet. but want to
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
Matt Haig is in my list of heck-knows-how-many top writers. This book honestly looks soo appealing and I intend to grab a copy once I have finished the 3 stacks of books which reside on my bedside table. The cover is beautiful and the synopsis is really interesting- girl makes a mistake and wants to find out how she could do things differently as well as the consequences. Sign me up! Maybe my interest comes from my love of anything Life Is Strange related. Who cares? I want to read this book so badly.
4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year
Earthlings by Sakaya Murata (translated by Ginney Tapley Takemori)
I have to admit, the picture of the sad cuddly toy hedgehog was the thing that caught my eye when I went browsing through the Waterstones website for up and coming releases. I usually need to read the blurb and the first page before I can even entertain the idea of reading a book, but I think this time I know that I will love this book. Is it aliens? Probably (I have a minor fascination with space). Synopsis: Girls has to reunite with cousin who was taken by aliens. I don't even care that it's translated (I tend to overlook those books because heck knows they aren't advertised enough), I want in on that alien action! Conclusion. I will own a copy the moment it is released (1/10/2020)
5. Biggest disappointment
Alice by heart- by Steven Sater
I'm deeply sorry but WHAT THE FUCK?! I have been listening to the musical, which came before the book, solidly for over a year. The soundtrack was breath taking. The musical synopsis I read (thanks to being unable to see it because it only played a limited run in America) was more sinister than anticipated, yet it worked. The trailer felt like a perfect combination of beautiful and what-the-hell-am-I-watching.
I recently found out that Lewis Carroll was on magic mushrooms when he wrote the original (which honestly explains a lot), I am going to presume Sater was clean, in that case how on earth did he write such a disgrace to the book world? It reads as if it has been written by a four year old. It is as if he handed in a half-arsed first draft! I was furious with how poorly written this book is, especially considering how high my expectations were! My thoughts: Generally, what works on the stage or in a script doesn't work in a book. It needs to be carefully crafted and altered in places. Look, if you want to find an example of a great book that makes the transition from stage to page, go and read the book versions of Dear Evan Hansen or Be more chill.
Overall do I recommend the book? No, I wouldn't even touch it with a barge pole. Literally the only reason I still own my copy is because the cover is a majestic thing. Do I recommend the show/soundtrack? Hell yeah. Give it a listen, it will blow your mind.
6. Biggest surprise
This is going to hurt: secret diaries of a junior doctor by Adam Kay.
I remember when this book dominated various Waterstones displays. More recently it has come to dominate many charity shops, which is great because it meant I was able to pick up a copy with limited funds (thanks to the 3 large stacks that have taken up residence on my bedside table). I will admit, I was sceptical. I'm generally not a non-fiction reader and I tend to be incredibly picky when it comes to books- let me put it this way, I'm very decisive and impulsive when it comes to things like theatre shows and drinks but I could easily spend an entire afternoon in a bookshop picking out a single book.
OMG this was an incredible surprise. It balanced the kind of medical humour you only pick up when you've had contact with St John's Ambulance Cadets or literally anything medical related, with sensitivity regarding patients and utterly tragic situations. Casual writing that felt ultimately very human and led to many a conversation with strangers who also happen to have read the book. 20/10 would recommend. I also recommend You-tubing some of the interviews Kay has done with various people, he is a very captivating speaker.
7. Favourite new author (debut or new to you)
Jaye Robin Brown, author of The Meaning Of Birds- Paperback released 2nd June 2020
I decided to order in some new books to celebrate Pride because it couldn't be celebrated in the usual way (thanks to a certain killer virus). It was honestly refreshing to read about a healthy lesbian relationship and gain knowledge about how some people deal with grief. I felt really impressed by Brown, her ability to carry out a double narrative story is something that we should take note of and aspire to. Her story didn't feel forced either, it felt like she really got inside her character's heads and fully understood everything about them. The story ended in exactly the right place and I really look forward to hopefully reading more from this upcoming star.
8. Newest fictional crush
Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee).
Sorry Nick Carraway, you've been pushed to the wayside, there's a new dude in town who is actually honest and has an admirable amount of modesty as well as strong morals. For starters, he isn't racist. He says one of the most memorable lines in literature: "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." He also cares about his children more than you might initially think- just look at the last chapter and you will understand what I mean. He's just a good, kind and empathetic person, that's what the world needs to be filled with- kind, empathetic people who can make excellent conversation.
Verity Wolf (Poemsia by Lang Leav) .
She's a poet who learns a harsh lesson about the industry and her personal relationships. The way she speaks is flawless and her poetry is enchanting. She is a siren of the poem-book crossover world. She is...a breath of fresh air. Crushing on this one hard. No more said.
In case you were wondering why I haven't mentioned the appearance of either character, I honesty don't care about appearance. Outward beauty within living beings is fleeting (as Dorian Grey will eventually find out) and I generally find the essence of a person more attractive. #theperksofbeingpansexual
9. Newest favourite character
Hatcher- Alice (The chronicles of Alice) by Christina Henry or Dorian Grey- The picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde
Both of these characters are undoubtedly the most morally questionable in this list (I mention morals a lot because they are absolutely vital to me). They are both incredibly impulsive and dangerous and I love the thrill. However the main difference is this: Hatcher will defend and protect you to the ends of the earth if you get on his good side, Dorian will use you and ultimately get jealous of your good side. Ultimately Hatcher is more likeable but Dorian has better conversational skills.
10. Book that made you cry
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
I wanted to hug Charlie so much throughout the entirety of this book. His journey is important as it pits empathy/people skills and intellect against each-other. Charlie's deterioration was difficult to read, especially when he found out what happens to regular lab mice and consequentially what will happen to him. The part that had me sobbing my eyes out was the ending. The last page. It is so gorgeous and tragic- heck I'm even crying as I'm writing and thinking about this moment. This moment being when in his final letter, he asks his ex-lover to put flowers on Algernon's grave. He not only chooses to bury the mouse of whom he has an immesurable with, but of all of the things he could have asked for in his last moment before going off to the school/farm/placey thing, he actually asks for flowers to be put on Algernon's grave and I think he does this as a way of showing Algernon that he won't be forgotten, that their connection is undeniable and transcendent of all human relationships. It reminds me of the song "I remember you" from Adventure time. It is linked below, give it a listen (read the last page of the book whilst you do if possible) and you will understand exactly what I mean.
11. Book that made you happy
The Gentleman's guide to vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
Historical LGBT fiction with a reckless protagonist and strong female characters. Heck yeah. This book made me laugh, smile, cry, all of it. Reading that book felt like recieving the longest, warmest, best hug ever. Absolutely would read again! Can't wait to read The Lady's guide to Petticoats and Piracy and The Gentleman's guide to getting lucky. Before you ask, yes, it is saucy at times but that's the point of a great romance. Unless it is about the actual trying to find a date in the first place, a great romance should be hot and steamy in place, though IT MUST AVOID ENTERING FIFTY SHADES OF GREY TERRITORY AT ALL COSTS!
12. Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or recieved)
1933 edition of Alice in Wonderland and Through the looking glass.
It was a gift from my mother, who has a friend, who has a father who was a rare book collector. Her friend happens not to be a book enthusiast let alone rare books collector, so when he received an impressive collection of rare books he was perfectly happy to let my mum borrow the book. At some point we intend to make an offer on this book- fingers crossed that this book can transition from loan to own.
13. What books do you need to read by the end of the year?
So many- ideally I need to reach my goal of 100. I also need to read books that my teachers have advised me to read (2 books on literature theory, an e-copy of The Sea and Sardinia and a book about Othello) and the 3 miniature towers that I mentioned earlier, as well as work through all of the unread books littered about my 4 ceiling-high bookshelves. Long story short- I have a heck ton to read. Knowing me, I will probably be still working through the list well into next year because I have a habit (albeit an annoying one at times) of buying books wherever I am able to get hold of them i.e. charity shops, car-boot sales, Waterstones and Amazon.
There are only 13 questions but I can't stand odd numbers so I'm going to add in a 14th one
14. Best Graphic novel
Hyperbole and a half: Unfortunate situations, flawed coping mechanisms, mayhem and other things that happened by Allie Brosh
This book was a gold find at the local charity shop. Utterly hilarious with some of the best artwork I have seen (no. it's not a Picasso masterpiece, but it doesn't need to be. A chalk drawing on a page works just as well if not better). Reading this book resulted in me spending 2 weeks reading every single post on her blog, discovering that she's become somewhat of a recluse and highly anticipating her announced second book.
All in all, so far this has been an amazing year for books and I can't wait to read whatever I fancy next.
Book challenge update: I'm still in the midst of my book challenge, although I suspect I might actually beat it this year, as of 16/8/20 I have read a total of 81 books so far!
I think the sound of music is an okay film with very catchy songs. Let's face it, most of us have heard do re me or the hills are ALIVEEEEEE with the sound of children running to safety. When I was told we were going to Salzburg my first thought was "damn I haven't seen that film in ages, I'll have to watch it before we end up on a bus full of people who have", my second thought was pretzels....because pretzels, ya know?
7th of August, one hell of a drive led us from Ersperding (I will be very impressed if anyone knows that this place exists) to Salzburg. Around 9-10 ish in the morning we parked in a car park near the centre, opposite a plaque talking about Einsten. *This and the fact that I was the only one out of the 3 of us that can speak German will be important later so keep it in mind
There was a sign on the far corner of said car park, my mother expressed her stress over the fact that she thought that this car park was not a safe haven to house literally everything we brought with us but my step father insisted that it would be fine. I offered to translate the sign and he still insisted that it would be hunky dory. So that was that. We entered a cafe and did the healthy thing of eating cake for breakfast and balancing it out by drinking mango juice, as well as coffee. Then we skipped along our merry way, wandering doe-eyed through mirabel gardens and Salzburg in general.
Top tips:
1. Don't wear a traditional Dirndle or for that matter ANY dirndle on one of the hottest days of the trip. Yes, it looks thin but it. Has. So. Many. Layers
2. If you don't have time to look at literally anything to do with Mozart's home town, eat a Mozart Pretzel. It's the Pretzel version of Terry's chocolate orange
3. Be prepared! We stumbled across a music festival and spent a fair amount of the day listening to various buskers, my favourite being the guy who made music out of glass cups
4. SLEEP!!! I cannot stress this one enough. I was really looking forward to The Sound Of Music tour and I was completely fine the first half, belting out kareoke with a group of strangers on a long bus with the worst air con ever invented. Heck, I even got to take a selfie with the lonely goat. But I fell asleep on the bus and woke up just as we reached the wandery bit where you can leave the bus for half an hour and stretch and eat ice cream in the pouring rain whilst riding on a mini train.
My last tip is this: ALWAYS READ CAR PARK SIGNS. Salzburg was the monopoly Go square on the start of our mini food and drink tour around Europe. On the 8th we woke up very early, ready for a day stopping off at various places, such as Hofbrau Kalt Haus, on our way to Abtenau. Between us we lugged 2 suitcases and 3 duffle bag thingymagigs from our hotel in the centreish to the outskirts, where our car was supposed to be to find a market. A MARKET. Let me re-iterate, there was no cars in the car park, just a hoard of stalls selling who-knows-what.
Naturally we were a bit freaked out. Step dad O mine decided to head to the car park's "office" (I still have no idea what you call the places in the car parks with the help desk and the person who looks bored with everything) and inquire about where the hell our car was. As it turns out, both me and my mother were right. If we had translated the sign, like I suggested, we would have known that any cars left in the carpark at 4am on Thursday morning get towed to make way for the weekly market.
The guy at the help desk must have thought we were idiots or that we were very gullible tourists because he proceeded to say something along the lines of "Don't worry, your car is about a 5 to 10 minute walk from here." Naturally we took his word and decided to walk. 5 minuites became 10, became 15, became half an hour. By the time we reached the car we were all tired, sweaty messes and, added bonus, incredibly pissed off. To top it all off, we had to fork out €100, possibly more simply because it got towed in the first place.
Moral of the story, be careful where you park.
Side note: Watch National Theatre's Amadeus if you can. It's incredible even if you hate opera.
How would you like to spend 2 weeks in a car, with enough space to fill half a lift and 2 parents "having fun" navigating crazy European roads? Yeah that's what happened a fair few Augusts pre-2020. I also have some really random stories from the time when I wasn't scared of the giant metal death trap that goes from Heathrow.
Every holiday, my mother, step dad and I like to make jokes about what will go wrong with the car whilst expecting nothing to actually happen and being crazy surprised when it does.
The first time this happened was back in Australia. My mother has relatives out there so we actually have a legit excuse to go yet we've only been there twice, the first time I was too young to remember, but the second time was about 7ish years ago.
After spending some time in Sidney, we decided to rent a car and go travelling in what I think is referred to as "the outback". Me being still a relatively small child was happy chilling out in the back of the car watching The princess and the frog for probably about the 5th time on the trip so far.
In case you were wondering, on every single holiday we go on I have a single bag full of films and a mini dvd player.
Back to the mini story. We stopped off at a service station to pick up sustinence because humans, much like plants, need food and water. It just so happens that I decided to get BANANA MILK. Most of you can probably see where this is going to go.
On the way to our farm stay we smelled something...sour/weird in the car, so we opened the windows. The smell refused to leave. Next we tried air con. It absolutely sucked. We then pulled over the car and started searching and searching until we found the culprit. The lid of my banana milkshake hadn't been screwed on properly and milk was soaking into the seats.
We really tried to clean out the smell but the damage was done. The smell lingered like month-old unwashed laundry for the entire time that we used the car. Made worse by the furnace that was Australian weather.
At the end of our trip, we dropped off the car...and left step dad to tell the dealer about the smell. Was it a stupid decision? Probably. Do I still like banana milkshake? 100%.
SIDE STORY!
Our tyre went flat in Italy....that's literally all I remember about it :)
In this post I'm just going to chat about life stuff and random quarantine stories for your enjoyment.
So books have been a major lifesaver. I generally have been trying to get through 1-2 a week and it's been amazing! I got super into Christina Henry's "Alice" books, which was especially awesome because I never really saw myself as a fantasy horror reader until now. I have always been into jump-scare horror games like "Five nights at Freddy's" and more recently "Bendy and the ink machine" so I'm honestly shook by how long it took me to read this genre. I highly recommend Christina Henry's books, they are seriously imaginative, have a fair amount of gore and have the most surprising twists. I generally don't read series books (there are some exceptions) so it feels weird recommending a (soon to be 4) part series. Oh well, sometimes the best things are the craziest things.
On that bookish note, I have currently read 56 books so far as part of my "100 books in a year" challenge. It's actually insane. If you are curious to see what I've been reading, head on over to Goodreads, I log every single book I read (starting from last year) on there. https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/90323109-bookish-hound
Games have also been a heck of a lot of fun! I stopped gaming around January last year to focus on revision for exams and I never got back into it until last week. I am back into "Cuphead" and found out that you can play co-op which is freaking awesome! I also re-booted a minecraft server I created and have been playing with some friends. Despite these new ways to play with other people, I am still very much a solo player. It is actually stupid how many hours I have poured into games like "Papers please", "911 operator" and "the sims 4" but as a fair few gamers will point out, solo games are better for that sense of achievement that seems to have gone missing since lock-down. "The sims 4" recently had a sale and I was able to get the university expansion pack, I am actually hooked, this pack is addictive. Even though I have played a grand total of 479 hours of sims over the past 4 years (I can't believe I've actually just said that) I spend the vast majority of my time on there creating sims, Only recently have I had the patience for home design. Suddenly the university pack comes along and gives you objectives for actual game-play. What does this mean? Whereas my free-time used to be taken up with books and playing my acoustic guitar, it is now entirely dominated by the family of highly-intellectual sims I have created. I know that "animal crossing new horizons" has somewhat blown up over the internet. Admittedly I don't get it. You see for those of us who don't have the privilege of owning a switch, we have to make do with "animal crossing new leaf" on some form of DS or just not play "Animal crossing". I know that "animal crossing pocket camp" exists on the app store but I really don't understand it. Basically I don't understand the big "animal crossing" craze, although the character design is so so so cute.
Aside from games, another great thing that has come about is fandom. I have been a member of various geeky/nerdy fandoms throughout the years and up until now, I've not had the chance to fully explore the full power of fandom. I have loved it so much. I finally have the time to watch theory videos and general discussions on Youtube, I have been able to label myself as a "nerdfighter" despite having watched "crash course" and "vlog brothers" for a fair number of years and I've been able to discuss fan theories on discord servers. I was a huge member of the "Gravity falls" and "Steven Universe" fandoms whilst episodes were still being released and consider myself a forever fan in the sense that both shows had a major impact on my life. However it's been great uncovering new shows and going back into fangirl mode 24/7. So what have I been watching? "Amphibia", "The owl house" and "Infinity train" as well as re-watching old favourites like "Adventure time", "Bea and puppycat", "we bare bears", "over the garden wall" and "Milo Murphy's law". If you couldn't already tell, I am really into fantasy horror cartoons as well as shows with major plot lines and quality character development. So what shows do I recommend? If you are looking for something with a deep plot line and a lot of things to analyse, I would try "Over the garden wall" or "Infinity train". If you are looking for more character development then I suggest "Amphibia" (pre-warning, Anne isn't very likeable at the beginning) or "Steven Universe". Currently the show I am digging into the most is "The Owl House", it has strong "Gravity falls vibes" and interesting lore.
Theatre online is better than I thought it would be. "Frankenstein" with Benedict Cumberbatch as the monster, has been by far the best digital performance I have ever seen. End of discussion.
Music has also been great. Once or twice a week, a friend and I pick a soundtrack to listen to, we text each other lyrics from the songs and/or discuss the plotline and really dig through the layers. Basically it's a once a week serious geek out session. So far we have listened to: "Hamilton", "A new brain", "Dear Evan Hansen", "Gallavant", "Steven Universe", "The rocky horror picture show", "Portal 2 the unauthorised musical", "Be more chill", "The little shop of horrors musical" and "Undertale the musical. I honestly love these sessions because it brings us closer together as friends as well as helps us both uncover new music. My favourite has been "The little shop of horrors musical" and I listen to it a lot, highly recommend. It's creepy and quirky and...just give it a listen.
Quarantine actually sucks and everyone is going to get through it in their own way. I was an absolute mess for the first 4 weeks, I found out the hard way that some days are going to be doable and others just aren't. Don't beat yourself up for being "unproductive". In fact I would like to ban that word from the English language, the game has changed completely so who the hell is to say what's productive and what isn't? It is such a difficult time right now but some good things are coming out of it. We are learning how be more patient and empathetic, mental health is finally being seen as a priority, we've been learning new ways to communicate, there's time to do things there wouldn't otherwise be time to do and we are all learning how to be more resilient.
So what am I trying to say? Everyone will get through it in their own way and we really shouldn't judge people for how they chose to cope in this crazy time period. There are things to do and there is time to stop, chill out and take time for ourselves. There are ways of supporting other people and there are ways of supporting ourselves. There isn't such thing as a "small achievement" anymore, every single achievement, including getting out of bed and eating is a major achievement and we should all feel proud of ourselves for simply being. We should feel proud for letting ourselves feel how we feel. We should feel proud for staying at home and staying safe. I am aware that sounded borderline preachy but it needed to be said.
That's all for now, I hope this blog and these kinds of posts feel like a warm hug and I'll see you in the next post.
Hi everyone,
How are you?
I'm officially on day 5 of self isolation/social distancing and I think I'm getting used to this new way of living so I wanted to discuss that...
On Friday I took part in a #HamiltonTwitterParty and it was so much fun! It basically involved listening to the Hamilton musical soundtrack and tweeting about lyrics or characters or whatever you wanted to really. Lin Manuel Miranda took part which was awesome!! I ended up being on twitter and texting at the same time because one of my friends said she would do it with me but didn't/doesn't have twitter so we did it via that and it was crazy and all of the good things. We ended up staying up until 1 am, it was totally worth it!
Saturday...I don't even know what the hell was up with that. Let's face it, we're all humans (unless your a bot...that just makes things awkward) so we can't be positive 100% of the time. I was overtired and overwhelmed by the situation so it was just...it sucked. It basically sucked. I did a live-stream for a couple of hours and by the end of it I felt beyond drained. Luckily, my mother noticed and coaxed me into the garden. It turns out that gardens are great places to read. Playing Frisbee is also a brilliant thing to do, the challenge is making sure it doesn't fly over the garden fence. It turns out walking is such a great thing to do so I try and head out to the garden whenever possible. It also turns out that music is amazing at letting you vent or boosting your mood, I sat and played songs on my purple acoustic guitar.
Sunday was a heck of a lot better. I spent a couple of hours making a Victoria sponge cake, it turns out that my baking skill ventures beyond "edible" into the realm of "delicious", not only that but cake is a great home-made Mother's day gift so it was a serious win/win. Afterwards I sat outside for more reading and continued my touch-typing course. The evening was spent watching "Noughts+Crosses" on BBC I player, would absolutely recommend reading the book series first. The show is good but not as accurate as I would have liked.
Monday. I finished my book and said to myself "I'm going to be super productive and get all of last Friday's uncompleted work finished" Big nope. I ended up finishing "diary of a somebody", starting "to kill a mockingbird", continuing typing lessons, watching "crash course" on Youtube, signing up to an online journalism course, basically doing literally everything except that. 1 pm rolled around and I did an online session with a maths tutor for the first time. I would usually rather pluck my eyes out than do maths but things change and he made maths tolerable. Not only that but it ended up putting me in the mindset to actually start my history work, which was a major success as I ended up being able to complete it! I rewarded myself by participating in Sarah Crossan's poetry live-stream and spent my evening chatting to people, writing parodies of poems/monologues and finishing "Noughts+Crosses".
I've been working on this post for a while and since then another major change happened. The UK government says that we are now only allowed to leave the house once a day for exercise (this doesn't include being in the garden as far as I know), this was/is a serious blow for everyone and I totally see the importance of putting it in place but that doesn't take away from the fact that this is difficult for everyone.
So at this point you are probably wondering why I'm just talking about my days? There are reasons, the first being this there is lots to do. This is a really great opportunity to learn a new skill, start a new project, get to know yourself, find good quality films, read, play board games, play any form of game, videochat, live-stream, try baking/cooking, get creative, work on mindfulness, study (I am aware that I sound like a teacher here...who cares? I would very much like to enter that career so best start early lol) etc....
Finally this: even through tough periods, time/life still goes on. We get up and face a world we aren't used to yet but we will get there. It's okay to take time out of social media or just take a break from our attempts to try and live normally because this is difficult. It's not something anyone has ever faced before, so we have been forcefully thrust into the position of pioneers. It's scary, however we will get through this. We will get through this by being kind to ourselves and patient with others, looking after our physical and mental health (I'm sure I've said this before but I'm going to repeat it) and above all else, giving ourselves permission to feel how we need to feel. We can't be positive all of the time so when you don't feel positive, don't try and force it. Feel it, express it in a healthy way: cry if you need to, hit a pillow if you need to and laugh if you need to. It's a shitty situation, we will find a way through it and I can't tell you when it will end but I can absolutely promise that THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER.
To you, the reader, I am going to recommend this, imagine what the world will be like when this is over. A truly horrific situation with the most amazing outcome. For me this is imagining the enormous street party that my village is planning on doing to celebrate the end of this strange period. It is imagining seeing my girlfriend face-to-face in person for the first time since February. It is seeing family members in the flesh, getting a Starbucks mocha frappucino and going into an actual bookshop to choose a book or two and it is finally being able to hug people.
Thank you all so much for reading, look after yourself, stay safe and I'll see you in the next post
-Amello
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